When it becomes easier to fake a relationship that we do not have.
Some time ago, a friend recommended a TED talk from a respected psychologist, who suggested that people’s body language could be cultivated to help them manifest a self confidence that is normally lacking in their lives; thereby potentially changing others’ perceptions of them as well as their own perceptions about self. Her premise was that in “faking it” we move closer to the reality of making it, and in the process improve our perception of ourselves.
Now maybe this is true in specific environments such as business and educational settings but can this be true in life? Can faking it be part of making it when it comes at the expense of the truth? I wondered just how that might affect our own self image and the needed growth in our relationship with Jesus.
That thought gripped me recently as I encountered King David in I Samuel 27. Having been pushed to the brink of despair by the pursuit of Israel’s defunct King Saul who sought his life, David determined his only hope of survival lay at the hands of the very Philistine enemy God had directed them to engage and destroy. David now finds himself in a compromising position requiring him to manipulate the truth, commit wholesale slaughter and leave no survivors, if his secret loyalties are to be maintained. We often believe that our identity, our very own happiness, if not our survival is bound up in the relationships we maintain, relationships which at the very least are non productive and at the very worst, dangerous. Clearly this is faking it gone bad.
When we fail to understand who Christ really is and who we really are in relation to him, we jeopardize our own spiritual health and at times our physical health as well.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
We then rely on the only relationships we have – few, casual, and unhealthy – and the equally trite Christian expressions we have picked up in our journey through life as a substitute for the deeper Spiritual truth and authentic relationships that should govern our lives. So in one sense, our deeper relationship with God and those who might really help us are surrendered for what appears more desirable at the moment; and more times than not, what appears more appealing to our carnal natures and deadened spiritual appetite. (Hebrews 5:11-14) This is the early Peter, having a front-row seat to the demonstration of Christ’s power in the miraculous catch of fish, but wanting no part of Christ’s presence because he recognized the huge gulf that existed between the righteous life of his Savior and his own. (Luke 5:8) We in fact exist in a Christian culture of trite expressions, vague generalities, and language that can become meaningless. Language such as “Christian,” “born again”, “walking with Christ”,” praying”, “living for Christ”, “accepting Christ”, and even, “sold out for Christ” are tossed around as conveying our interest in Christ but in fact are vague, indefinite, and lacking spiritual direction when thrown around carelessly in the absence of biblical context, personal experience, or disciplined progress. Judas, as the most educated and cultured of Jesus’s followers knew all the right “lingo” had just the right background, but never fully surrendered his heart to the teachings of Jesus. Now, don’t misunderstand me; all of these terms may have valid uses and when used correctly may convey the narrative that we are following hard after Christ, where the priority of obedience to Christ is in full view. And yet, the question remains, is that true… Are we following hard after Christ with His interest in our life our highest priority?
BACK TO THE DAVID NARRATIVE
I remain challenged by the stark discrepancy between the David I thought I knew as a “man after God’s own heart”, and the David on display in the concluding chapters of I Samuel.* What brings us to leave the God we love in favor of feigned insanity, casual commitment, and moral misdirection. Here again, faking it cannot help us. Maybe we need new words added to our vocabulary; biblical terms like surrender, confession, and steadfastness; terms that can be welded on to our relationship with Christ. Maybe faking it has its limitations and can never compete with the assurance of knowing that our lives are secure in Christ and our best learning is from Christ. And that’s why I love the passage that concludes John’s gospel. Following the resurrection, the disciples have returned to the place where it all began– that huge catch of fish. Only now, Jesus is cooking breakfast and when it’s over he engages Peter in one of the most meaningful discussions of his life.
Do you love me sacrificially,” (agape) Jesus asks? “Yes, I have a kind affection for you.” (Philleo) “Feed my sheep,” Jesus says. He repeats the question again, and again the same reply from Peter and the same challenge from Christ. And now a third time, “Do you have at least a kind affection for me Peter,” Jesus asks? “Then feed my sheep.
Only then, does Jesus illuminate the path that Peter would follow; a path of sovereign leadership and painful realities that must accompany a life of complete surrender (John 21). And so it is for us. We must pursue a deepening relationship with Jesus Christ and we all have work to do in growing up in the faith. And yes, that’s a biblical term from Ephesians four. That’s the truth, simply stated but requiring a lifetime of cost-counting and commitment. And faking it, as my parents would often say, just won’t “cut the mustard”.
Press on-
MJC
I Samuel 27-30
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