The Upside of Gratitude

Be Thankful and live better–

It’s hard to imagine that skills our parents sought so diligently to impart to us as children could actually improve our adult lives and make us happier, more well adjusted and maybe even more prosperous. Who knew? Well, my mom was convinced. Yep my world was one of look a person in the eye, thank them for what they have given you, and make sure you write that thank-you note. Ok, I hear you, forced thank-you’s do not guarantee the presence of thankfulness or an attitude of gratitude. But wait a minute. Not so fast. A recent WSJ article suggested that many parents struggle with the challenge of imparting gratitude into the lives of their children. In 2012, 2000 parents were surveyed about the presence of gratitude in their kids and 59% of them believe that most people today are less likely to have an attitude of gratitude than 10 or 20 years ago. The culprit; well there are many factors behind the trend, but the research suggests that parents over the years have bought into the lie that if children feel better about themselves, if parents praise them, cater to their every need and make them feel happy, it will help them develop character. (I’m not making this up) Well, as a friend of mine who works extensively with women facing moral dilemmas on a daily basis says, “how’s that plan working out for you?” Apparently, not well, when it comes to the promise of more gratitude in the children who will become our next adults.

• Who knew– according to the research, that a higher level of gratitude is associated with less anxiety, less depression, and a greater sense of well being.
• Who knew– that gratitude can be cultivated at any age
• Who knew– that research seems to suggest that a growth in gratitude predicted a growth in pro-social behavior and also predicted a decrease in negative social behaviors. Could gratitude or that attitude of thankfulness be part of an overall strategy for reducing anti-social behavior and the devastating consequences that it often brings? The current research seems to suggest that it can.
• And, who knew– that students who are more grateful are statistically shown to be better at managing their lives and identifying goals for the future.

That kind of secular research always encourages me and secretly makes me smile when I think that the Scriptures have been advocating the practice of Godly gratitude for for 2 millennia. What saddens me is that during my lifetime when parents should have been searching the Scriptures and heeding its advice for the molding of their children, were listening to Dr. Spock and others who maintained the humanist agenda, and as parents, were reluctant to surrender their friendship with their child for the role of parent.

Who knew? Well, God knew and left us well informed about the keys to happiness, well-being, and a freedom from the tyranny of anxiety; all of which are available as we deploy the godly gratitude that ought to be a staple of our lives. The gratitude that I’m describing is not merely a hollowed out version of the real thing; some shallow and indefinite “spiritual” sense of well-being, but an intentional attitude of thanksgiving, a recognition of the eternal love that has been manifested by God toward us that sustains our lives and improves our fortunes.

I encountered it just days ago in my own Bible reading from Psalm 107. No less than four times does the writer remark, “O give Thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.” And then the Psalmist walks us through life, the life of a people just like us, who had freedom and prosperity at their doorstep but squandered the blessings for the satisfaction of self-preservation. And yet, time and time again the refrain echoes out, “Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man.” And then it repeats…

Verse 21– Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love

Verse 31– Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love

The writer concludes with a word to the wise,

Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things– consider the steadfast love of the Lord” (43).

So what’s the real upside here? I see several take-aways for all of us.

1. Gratitude should be part of the believer’s daily spiritual journey. The benefit of consistent thankfulness expressed in timely doses cannot be overemphasized.
2. Gratitude to God and others can be taught; certainly to our children, and can be impressed upon us as adults. Too often, it is not.
3. Gratitude works. Will it eliminate the violence that pervades our schools, our cities, and our institutions? Not by itself, but it does remind us that God’s call for believers remains the same– Love God, love your fellow man. Just think what might fall into place if we could just get this one done.

* Wall Street Journal/ Saturday-Sunday, February 24-25, 2018, “Review” C1-2

MJC