Connecting with the human condition
Earlier this week, I visited a friend and fellow church member in the hospital. Here is a guy struggling with maladies that will likely take his life sooner than later and they all stem from a failing heart. He is well aware of the real possibility that today might be his last, and if not today, then tomorrow, or the next day, and has commended that decision to the Lord for his keeping. But he finds these days lonely and is starved for the personal touch associated with real companionship. When I visited him, his handshake was firm, his eyes clear, and in a strong voice, he said, “I’m so glad you came.” Truth is, most of us hunger for the acceptance that comes from being important to others. Even in a world of electronic devices and constant interaction with the digital net, we long for a personal connection. Fact is, God made us that way and unless our lives have been short-circuited by childhood trauma, neglect, or indifference, our normal quest in life is directed toward that someone who might love us and engage us.
The majority of us recognize this need particularly in a few distinctive occasions. While there are some couples that elope or choose a civil ceremony, most opt for a wedding, inviting people they love and with whom they have shared a connection of their own over time. In death, we may choose the basic or the extravagant funeral, but most of us desire some way to assuage our grief, confront the separation and that often involves those closest to us in life who might share the depths of our pain in death.
And so, I’m drawn back to the value of human contact. Each week, I share in the vision of two dozen business owners, entrepreneurs, and employees, all hoping to expand their reach into the community and build a name for their business. All well and good, but the real story is the relationships that are established that go well beyond sales, and find their best work in the melding of the lives in this close-knit group. We care about one another and on any given week, we learn something new about each other; for instance, this past week, a computer technician who gave me a peek into the details of his other job– a visitation pastor for his local church. I didn’t know that…
Now, if this connection was a result of man’s innate wisdom, or a long ago pioneered business model, I’d say, wow, cool, what a neat thing. But wait a minute, I think God has something to say about this phenomenon. Truth is, He created people who need fellowship, fellowship with Himself, and people created with the need to interact with one another. And when I sit with an individual who I may know only casually and I inquire about his life, his work and his family, I extract a treasure beyond comparison for it yields a context, a connection, and a mutual concern.
And that leads me back to the Bible… As it usually does (occupational hazard). Consider the Apostle Paul for a moment. For years he functioned as a one-man missionary machine; the driving force behind no less than 4 missionary excursions; and yes with others along but clearly with him driving the course and setting the agenda. When one rather timid untested recruit failed him, he quickly removed his name from the flight manifest for the next trip and left him in the care of a more social, compassionate, touchy-feeling type colleague named Barnabas. We lose sight of the relationship between the two over the next few busy years of ministry until the door of Paul’s miraculous career begins to close and a new story-line emerges. The journey is ending for Paul and his freedom is being extinguished. Many who were so eagerly “for him” have turned against him and he now longs for the human contact that was once common to his travels and consistent with his ministry purpose– people. He is now alone, cold, and weary– and he longs for the human contact that will help him endure the remaining hours of his life. “Bring the books, he says, bring the parchments, and please, bring John Mark, for he is useful to me. What is it that we want when we near the end of our life? We want the assurance that our life has mattered, that Jesus truly has saved us and is waiting for us, and we desire to share the companionship of others.
And then there was Jesus; the man of God and God-man. This Jesus loved people, loved them thoroughly, and loved them up close. He showed up at weddings and funerals, dinner parties and corporate gatherings; sometimes unannounced, sometimes unexpectedly, but always with the desire to engage human beings and initiate human contact. He engaged Nicodemus with the paradox of new life, the woman at the well with new water, and the paralytic with new legs. He was always part of the human condition and when the newness of his persona wore thin and many left his side and “followed him no more”, he asked his fellow disciples if they intended to leave him as well. Funny thing for God to ask if he is only a Spirit, doing, “God things.” The beauty of my salvation is that it was not proffered by remote control, nor from the deep realms of heavenly space, but through a man, a human being, who loved me enough to engage me and to offer me personally, an excitement that can never be matched by distance and remoteness that most of the world’s substitutes purport to provide.
My life has been sustained over the years by relationships that mattered deeply to me– a relationship with Jesus and relationships with people who have engaged me and offered me opportunities to grow into the man that I am. They have cared for me in the absence of any agenda for themselves, and have built into me the truth of God, while allowing me the rare privilege of entering into their life and observing their own vulnerabilities, hurts and inadequacies. For those of you who cannot do this or won’t do this out of pride or self-sufficiency, I feel sorry for you. I find it amazing that for all the Facebook friends we claim, or the acquaintances we name, the vast majority of us have few we can trust and fewer we consider intimate. We may call ourselves disciples, dedicated followers of Jesus, but we can go weeks without talking to our Master and months without engaging the very people we have pledged to love– our church family. So I must ask… Do you know what I’m struggling with as a man, as a dad, or even a pastor? How about that person who sits next to you in church? Do you know what he is facing at home, what about the difficulties she faces without a husband.
Imagine the joy that would have been part of the disciples’ life if they could have but honored their Savior’s request to watch and pray for one hour. Then imagine the joy of stepping outside yourself and into the life of someone else. And that is the real blessing of a church family.
MJC
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